Once upon a time, a self-proclaimed Archaeology-Lifer got a job as a flight attendant. No one knows quite how it happened. Here's what happened next...

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Flight Attendant's ABCs - B (bravo) is for...

  • Beverage Cart - The Beverage/Bar cart is a tricky one. One the one hand, it’s wonderful in the sense that it stores all your drinks in neatly organized trays and keeps everything cool. On the other hand, it’s the devil incarnate. There are 47 different ways you can injure yourself with the Bar Cart. It will also destroy every pair of pantyhose you own, and is heavy enough when full that pushing it up the aisle of an aircraft still in climb attitude verges on comical.
  • Bells - That bing-bong you always hear, chiming away during the flight. It’s kind of like morse code - it could mean all kinds of things. A passenger needs something, the FAs at the front may be calling the galley wenches, the pilots may be calling the FAs for a bathroom break. How do you know? You look up. The Master Call Panel will tell all. After just a few short weeks as an FA, one will always find themselves looking up at the sound of a chime. It may be just the doorbell, but where the hell is the call light?!

  • Boots - During the winter, your uniform boots not only look fierce, but keep you warm AND prevent slipping on icy air-stairs. They also send the security officers into a tizz, because they reckon they always set off the metal detectors. They don’t. It’s annoying. Especially because you will invariably be wearing mismatched socks when the security officers demand you remove your boots.

  • Babies - Yeah, they’re cute. They make a disproportionate amount of noise though - especially in a confined space, such as an airplane. And they are the sole reasons for diapers, which are one of the primary antagonists in an FA’s story.

  • Boeing - If it ain’t Boeing, I ain’t going!

Next time…. “C (charlie) is for…

No comments:

Post a Comment