Airline Grooming Policies

When the show Pan Am came out (sadly it has now been cancelled) I noticed a flurry of comments and opinions on airline grooming standards.  Many seemed to find the way in which the flight attendants in the show were expected to adhere to strict policies surprising, and some thought that such a thing would never happen today.  Well... I can say that The Airline has never made me get one a scales, thank goodness (although I know other airlines that do include regular weighing schedules for their flight attendants).  However, while things are perhaps slightly more lenient these days, my grooming manual is still twelve pages long.  And I work for a relatively relaxed airline.

Out of interest, I thought I would share a few choice excerpts from the manual, including instructions on uniform and on appropriate self-conduct.

• You shall be aware of the impact that you have on the public when wearing the company uniform.
• You shall present an image of self-awareness and self-care with a professional look.
• Personal variations or individual additions to the uniform are prohibited.
• You shall carry a sewing kit at all times in order to ensure the uniform is in good repair.  (Personally I am not a huge fan of being instructed to carry a sewing kit.  While I see the sense in it, I feel like my next order would be to make a damned sandwich.)
• The uniform shall appear freshly cleaned and pressed at all times.  (Fair enough, but then the material it's made of means that the second you sit down the whole thing creases to hell anyway.)
• Good posture and carriage shall be maintained at all times.  (You try having good posture on the way back to the hotel after a red-eye then...)
• Gum chewing in not acceptable at any time while in uniform. (The only bit that is bolded in the whole manual...which I find rather odd considering the following instruction prohibits consuming alcohol or going to a bar at any time in uniform...makes you wonder where the priorities lie....)
• Re-application of makeup, or styling of hair, shall not be done in public view.  (Yes, this prohibits me from putting on lipstick in a public washroom...who the hell cares?)
• When eating in uniform and in view of public, Flight Attendants shall be seated. (... seriously?)
• Flight Attendants are required to conduct themselves in a mature and responsible manner in all dealings with the Company.  (This one actually makes me LOL)...
• Conversation in the presence of customers shall give the impression that the Company is a professional and efficient organization of courteous and friendly employees.  \
• Skirts may not be hemmed any shorter than 1" above the knee.
• Hair shall be clean, neat, and dry and worn so as not to fall into your face ... Hair colouring should be well maintained (translation: No roots!)  ...trendy styles are unacceptable.  When tied back, hair shall not fall below the shoulder blades at the back (So if you've got super long hair, it's a nun-bun or the chop).
• (Here comes my favourite... make up!)  The intent of cosmetics to improve one's appearance in the airline industry is to support an image of alertness and confidence which is important to passenger safety perceptions (There you have it, folks.  We are so concerned with your safety, even our MAKE UP is in on the game).  Moisturizer and foundation shall be applied prior to makeup application to help combat cabin dryness (The moisturizer, yes, but the foundation? Hells no). ....Heavy dark makeup is not permitted. (I used to be a huge fan of green eye make up on the red-eyes...because literally red eyes are not attractive and the green toned it down a bit.  Only with cool flight directors, though).
• As a flight attendant, your hands may be seen by your passengers as often as your face.  Nails shall be well groomed and manicured at all times. (I got told off on a few occasions because I'm not really the get-a-manicure kind of girl.  Apparently having bare nails looks "cheap".  I had to bite my tongue not to reply that the lipstick on the accuser's teeth also looked cheap.)
• Contact lenses are preferred to glasses... Sunglasses are not to be work in terminal buildings, hotels, on the aircraft or anywhere you may be in contact with passengers.  ...They may never be pushed up on top of the head.
• ...all footwear must be approved by in-flight services.
• Pearl or diamond stud earrings may be worn, provided they are are in good taste (How exactly does one find pearl or diamond studs that aren't in good taste?)
• It is not permitted to wear a necklace at anytime (Absolutely NO ONE adheres to this rule).

AS FOR THE BOYS (yep, they have grooming rules too, although perhaps more relaxed than the ladies...)

• Hair shall not fall forward and shall not conceal the top of your ears and appear unkempt.  The back of hair shall not touch the top of the collar, but not to be so short as to show scalp....Hair shall be kept clean, neat, dandruff free and conditioned regularly.  (The dandruff bit is another LOL).
• Sideburns shall be no longer than mid-ear level...they shall be trimmed frequently to avoid the appearance of being bushy.  Moustaches shall not extend below the corner of the mouth.  The upper lip shall be visible and false, waxed or curled moustaches are not permitted.  Full beards are not permitted.

So there you have it, choice excerpts from the Grooming Standards of The Airline.  And I even cut out the boring bits!  And, so you have a visual, here's me in my uniform last year.  This was a skinnier time, so the uniform got a little loose.  Also, please ignore the fact that it's a lame "take a picture in the mirror" kind of shot. 

 

The Flight Attendant's ABCs - F (foxtrot) is for...

• Ferry Flight - One of the most exciting things for an FA to see on the schedule.  A ferry flight is basically a flight which serves to position the airplane from one place to another...WITHOUT PASSENGERS.  It's like free money.  You get paid to sit on a plane for however long, and do whatever you feel like.  Some particularly mean Flight Directors (see below) may make you work during this time, cleaning the aircraft and such, but for the most part it is widely understood that this time can be reserved for sleeping, reading, or other general relaxation activities.  I personally enjoy to spend the whole time in the flight deck, picking up tidbits of information and storing them away for future use.
  
• Final Approach - A time during which the aircraft is lined up with the runway and about to land.  It's a time during which everyone is supposed to be seated with their seat-belts secure.  Flight attendants included.  So don't get mad if you're ringing the call button and we don't magically materialize at your side.  And no, it's probably not the best time for you to get your bag out of the overhead bin, either. :)
  
• Flight Director - (also known as In-Flight Director, Purser, etc).  The lead flight attendant on any flight.  Apparently someone has to be in charge, and since the Pilots are locked away in the flight deck, one flight attendant takes charge of the rest of the cabin crew.  Some are wonderful and friendly and have a decent work ethic, and so your flight will be relaxed with a good "team spirit".  Other Flight Directors....well let's just say that they are type who will write you up for wearing more than one ring on each hand or not having lipstick on.  In most cases I often find that the Flight Director sets the tone for the whole trip.
  
• Flight Attendant - 

Next time... G (golf) is for... 

The Flight Attendant's ABCs - E (echo) is For...

•  Emergency Exit Row - Always a matter of some contention.  The EE rows are generally reserved for what FAs call “ABPs”, or “Able Bodied Passengers”.  We don’t mean it to be discriminatory.  All the bodies and organizations that organize aviation regulations around the world enforce the rule that the passengers who sit in EE rows must be able to open the exit and not hinder evacuation in the event of an emergency.  So no, it's not particularly reasonable for you to ask for the extra room for your kids to play around in.  And if you're hobbling around on a broken leg with crutches, you probably aren't going to be the swiftest at getting the emergency exit open now, are you?  It’s not the FA’s fault you can’t sit there, so don’t hate.  It’s a matter of safety, and that's really,  really not a cop out.
  
• Engine - What’s the difference between a jet engine and a flight attendant?  The engine stops whining at the gate.
  
• Entertainment - In flight entertainment - fantastic on Air Canada and other such large carriers.  Not so good on other airlines.  Non-existent on charter companies, unless you count listening to the Flight Attendants gossiping in the galley.  But then, you pay peanuts for a week-long, all-inclusive Caribbean Vacation…do you really expect to be flown down on a shiny, brand new, fully tricked out A380 instead of a B737 that’s older than you are?  Bring an iPod, or even one of those old-fashioned book things. 
  
• Engineer -  Officially, the engineer is “an enlisted man or NCO who monitors and maintains aircraft operation in-flight and otherwise aids the air crew.” (Source)  Unofficially the engineer is either the best person in the world who will fix your mutinous coffee maker four times during the flight, or he’s a jerk who sits in the back row reading/listening to music/playing on his nintendo and laughs at you when you have a flood in the galley, yet still expects to be fed, watered, and otherwise treated like a passenger.

That's a Quarter of a Year...

It has been three months today since I first flew an airplane.
That's it.  Just three months.

I feel certain that something here must be incorrect.  How can such a short period of time have passed?  Three months is nothing.  Am I stuck in a time vortex?  Is time on a loop for me?  Have I been watching too much Doctor Who?  Well... yes I have been watching too much Doctor Who, but that's irrelevant.  Three months doesn't seem like much time at all, and yet, as I said before, it seems like it has been a lifetime.

I tried to think back to a time when I didn't always look above when I heard an airplane pass overhead.  I can't. I know it must have been less than four months ago that I developed such a Pavlovian response, but the time before is failing to register. 

While I was at work today, one of the servers found a child's book called Angela's Airplane (Annikins).


I grew up somewhat ignorant of Robert Munsch, so I had never heard of it.  But I suppose a child left it behind at The Restaurant, and this other server found it and gave it to me.  I thought it was adorable, and perhaps a little bit of the Universe making itself heard, as it is so wont to do.

Happy three months to me, and many many more to come.  It's going to be a long journey, and this little anniversary will surely amount to the tiniest fraction in the end, but right now it feels like an accomplishment.

Happy to say I am in a much more positive state of mind than I was following my last lesson.  For a time I was considering taking a week off from lessons in order to relax a little and not be so frazzled, thinking that if I was so easily distracted then I would never focus properly.  However now that I have calmed down a little, I see that it would be a stupid move to take time away from my lessons.  Two weeks between lessons would surely make me forget things, and make it even harder for me to perfect my landing.  This will only make me more frustrated, and then I'll be back to square one.  Plus I love that Tuesday always has me in the air.  It's my happy.  It's my drug.  I don't want to quit!  I need that next hit!

This weekend will see me doing a spot of province hopping for The Airline.  I am quite looking forward to it.  These days I am happy with any and all flights I can get my eager little hands on.  That's the curse of charter airlines.  There isn't always going to be enough contracts to keep everyone flying full time.  But I'm still working every so often, and I think it will just make me appreciate my pairings a lot more when they come my way!  (This pairing in particular has the added bonus of potentially being firefighter movement!  Thank you powers that be!)

Vivid Memories

Some moments just stick out in the mind.

On the last flight of our Sun Destination charter in the winter, we ferried the aircraft known (to me) as Lettie down to Cancun to "repatriate" 158 Canadians.  I was sad and stressed out, worried that it was going to be my last flight ever.  Thank goodness it didn't turn out that way, but still, I was a little upset.  The other FAs were using the empty plane to stretch out and sleep.  I chose to stay in the Flight Deck with the boys and enjoy what I thought could be my last trip.  At this point, I still didn't know that I was going to follow my new path towards becoming a pilot, so I was really just enjoying the view and the company.

The Captain was agitated.  It was the day of the gold medal hockey game of the Olympics, and we were officially missing it.  After mumbling and grumbling about it, and using lots of choice curse words, he finally decided to send the First Officer hunting on the AM radio waves to see if we could pick up the game.  Sure enough, some random Mexican station was broadcasting it!  The Captain put it on the speakers in the flight deck so that all three of us could listen in.  There was cheering, there was yelling, and many more curse words.

We almost managed to listen to the entire game, and had it not gone into overtime, it would have been no problem.  But we were almost in Cancun, and the guys had to start our descent.  The Captain schemed; 'Maybe we can do a go-around or something and catch the end of the game before we have to land...' but it was no good, and descend we did.  All was going well, but it was a race against time.  The overtime period began - we listened.  We continued to descend.  The announcer started to sound very excited, this was it, someone was going to the net, something was going to happen, Crosby had the puck.....

We hit 10,000ft and lost the signal.

The resulting screams of 'NOOOOOOOO' brought two of the other FAs to the flight deck looking extremely panicked.  Apparently hearing screams and cries coming from the flight deck isn't so re-assuring.  Who knew?

The second we landed and the engines were shut down, the first thing the Captain did was get out the Blackberry and call head office.
'What happened?!  No, the score!  What do you mean you aren't watching the game, turn the damned TV on and tell me the f***ing score!!!!'

The Flight Attendant's ABCs - C (charlie) is for...

• Coffee - It’s amazing how many problems can be solved at 35,000 ft by coffee.  Cranky pax?  No problem.  Coffee!  Cranky pilots?  No problem.  Coffee!  Blocked lav?  Hey, I know, we could dump pots of coffee down there until things start to shift again (isn’t being a flight attendant glamorous?).  Lav completely frozen because it’s January in Ottawa and the temperature outside is -40C?  Dude, don’t call the mechanic…just pour coffee in until it melts.  Need to get rid of that bag of ice before you land?  Put it in the sink and just add hot coffee!  Lav stinks like woah because you’re flying people home from their all-inclusive Caribbean vacation?  Get a packet of coffee grounds and sprinkle it in.  Instant air freshener!  The list goes on.  And on.  And on.
  
  
• Customs Cards - Even FAs have to fill these babies out when they land and actually get off the aircraft for longer than a smoke break.  An FA will fill them out so often s/he could do it blindfolded.  And yet s/he will still manage to ruin at least two while frantically filling it out on final approach.  Every single time.
  
  
• Carry-Ons - Ok people, it’s right there in the name.  “Carry” on.  Not “roll” on.  If it’s too heavy for you to be able to carry; if you have to roll that sucker down the aisle and get in everyone’s way; and if you can’t lift it into the overhead bin by yourself without an FA’s assistance, then no, it’s not really a “carry” on.  Do you really need to take entertainment for the entire week’s vacation all in one bag?  How can a handbag with a purse, one book, an iPod and a few toiletries and perhaps a change of underwear not suffice?  It’s a four hour flight, we’re not going to bloody Australasia in one day.
  
  
• Cell-Phones - It’s one of the most obvious things.  Please don’t use your cell phone in flight.  You’re not going to get any reception once we get in the air anyway, so what’s the point in having it roaming for four hours?  Why people never comply is just beyond me.  My favourite is ‘but it’s not a cell-phone, it’s a Blackberry’.  Can you call someone on it?  Yes?  Then turn it off.  Don’t make me ask twice, or I will cease to be so polite about it.

Next time… D (delta) is for…

How to Pack for a Pairing

Packing for a pairing can be a challenge.  It’s always going to be different, based on where you are going and how long you’re going to be away for.  This particular crew bag was prepared for a three day pairing which took me from Ottawa to Toronto and St. John’s with a few stops in between.  It had been a while since I did any flights, so I actually had to put some thought into this.  However, in the winter my bag was never really unpacked, and I used to just throw in whatever extra I needed.


So here are the basics!



Main Suitcase (carry-on sized)

• One Pair of Jeans  - A staple of most outfits.  However I never wear them when deadheading.  I like to look a little smarter.
• Three versatile shirts and a cardigan.
• Three more pairs of underwear than required. - I have been on parings that I had expected to last only two days and ended up away from home for six.  I was thankful for those extra undies, when one of the other FAs remarked that she had run out and was going commando.
• More pairs of nightshade-coloured pantyhose than I am likely to need.  -The rule of thumb, for me at least, is that I will go through more pairs than I have if I don’t bring lots.
• PJs.  Something lightweight.
• Bathing Suit - Hotels have pools…and of course you never know if you’re going to get stuck somewhere sunny!
• Gym Clothes - I like to take advantage of the gym facilities in hotels if I have a decent enough layover.
• Mini hair-straightener
• iPod charge cable.
• Flight Attendant Manual (the black binder in the middle.  It takes up more space in my case than anything else.
• Boarding shoes, galley shoes, gym shoes.
• An extra uniform blouse (or two).
• Toiletries bag - The best advice I can give any new FA regarding toiletries is to buy those mini travel-sized toiletries and fill them up yourself at home with your favourite products.
• FOOD.  - I always try and pack a selection of travel-friendly food…juice cartons, granola bars and dry-packaged soup are my favourites, although I have been known to stuff pita bread in there, and, on one occasion, a pot of hummus.  Carefully wrapped up, of course.  The trick to getting the most out of your Per Diem (daily food allowance paid by the airline) is to not have to buy three full meals a day.  I usually have breakfast and snacks from what I brought, lunch is a crew meal on board, and then buy dinner out.
• Lots of socks.

My aim is to leave enough space in the case for the clothes I plan to wear while deadheading.  I try and pick something lightweight - tights/leggings and a tunic or something, which won’t take up a lot of space.  And in the winter, it invariably includes the uniform boots, as they take up too much room in the case.  My uniform I carry in a garment bag as a carry-on.

Handbag/Satchell

• Reading material - in my case, I packed it with my flight training resources.  I had a lesson prior to my flight.  
• Diary - I can’t imagine living this life and not wanting to write it all down!
• Scheduler - You need to know what you’re doing, day to day.
• A little notebook is always handy.
• Air Crew Restricted Area Pass/Company Identification - not the kind of thing you want to pack in your suitcase, but not something you aren't supposed to have on display if you are deadheading.
• Advil.  Pain meds of choice.  Midol.  Gravol.  Etc.
• Small jewelry wallet.
• Glasses, Sunglasses
• iPod, cell phone
• More snacks
• Main wallet - the blue one with the flowers is my travel wallet.  It has space for both my passports, the certifications I have to carry, debit/credit cards, IDs and money.
• Small make-up wallet.
• Folder - useful to keep flight details/charter advices/timesheets/expense sheets, etc.
• The Flight Attendant Survival Kit (liquid edition, non-liquid edition).
• Of course, a CAMERA! - You will never regret taking it and not using it, but you will ALWAYS regret not having it.  Case in point - Boxing Day 2009.  Ice storm in Ottawa eventually led to me getting stuck in Punta Cana overnight.  I didn’t have my camera (or most things, actually… just a spare pair of underwear and an extra uniform blouse…) and I had to take photos on my phone.  It SUCKED.

I used to use a large sized handbag for this, but now I use my flying club bag, as it has lots of space.  Plus if I tried to pack my flight training resources into a handbag it might not work out so well, and I can’t bear to be parted from it!

The Flight Attendant Survival Kit
Liquid Edition:

• Hand Cream.  By the gallon if necessary.
• Perfume - those little sample perfumes are great here.
• Contact Lenses and eye drops
• Hand sanitizer
• Lip balm/gloss
• Antiseptic cream (I’m clumsy).
• More perfume.
• More hand cream
• Clear nail polish - a God Send.  I have saved countless pairs of pantyhose with just a dab of clear nail polish.  Apparently hairspray also works wonders.

Non-Liquid Edition:

• Nail File
• Make-up - for me, it’s concealer, pressed powder and blush.
• Pen
• Batteries

  All packed, and ready to go!

The Flight Attendant's ABCs - B (bravo) is for...

• Beverage Cart - The Beverage/Bar cart is a tricky one. One the one hand, it’s wonderful in the sense that it stores all your drinks in neatly organized trays and keeps everything cool. On the other hand, it’s the devil incarnate. There are 47 different ways you can injure yourself with the Bar Cart. It will also destroy every pair of pantyhose you own, and is heavy enough when full that pushing it up the aisle of an aircraft still in climb attitude verges on comical.

• Bells - That bing-bong you always hear, chiming away during the flight. It’s kind of like morse code - it could mean all kinds of things. A passenger needs something, the FAs at the front may be calling the galley wenches, the pilots may be calling the FAs for a bathroom break. How do you know? You look up. The Master Call Panel will tell all. After just a few short weeks as an FA, one will always find themselves looking up at the sound of a chime. It may be just the doorbell, but where the hell is the call light?!
  
  
• Boots - During the winter, your uniform boots not only look fierce, but keep you warm AND prevent slipping on icy air-stairs. They also send the security officers into a tizz, because they reckon they always set off the metal detectors. They don’t. It’s annoying. Especially because you will invariably be wearing mismatched socks when the security officers demand you remove your boots.
  
  
• Babies - Yeah, they’re cute. They make a disproportionate amount of noise though - especially in a confined space, such as an airplane. And they are the sole reasons for diapers, which are one of the primary antagonists in an FA’s story.
  
  
• Boeing - If it ain’t Boeing, I ain’t going!

Next time…. “C (charlie) is for…

The Flight Attendant's ABCs - A (alpha) is for...

The idea of a Flight Attendant’s ABCs came to me on a Red Eye to Punta Cana and back some time in January. Red Eyes can be incredibly dull. Usually you do a drink service, a food service, and by the time you are ready to go back out with the bar cart for the second round, everyone has passed out, leaving you and the other flight attendants with little to do but try to stay awake. I would usually try and keep my brain active in some way - writing song lyrics, playing word games, and, on occasion, being a little creative.

So without further ado, I present the idea that has been nagging my creative muse for 4 months - The Flight Attendant’s ABCs

A (alpha) is for…

• Aircraft - Your aircraft is your home while you are working. It could be big, small, multi-engine, single-engine, brand spanking new or older than you. Some people find themselves becoming very attached to their aircraft, especially if they frequently work on the same one. You learn its quirks, recognize its temper tantrums before they happen, one might give it a nickname, and often an aircrew member will have little ways of expressing how the appreciate their plane. I would always take the chance to pat the nose and say “hello girl” at the start of each day.
  
  
• Apologies - Sometimes it seems as though the motto of a Flight Attendant is “Oh, I’m sorry!” S/he may be stepped on, bumped into, rudely spoken to, run over with a baggage cart, or have luggage dropped on his/her head, and the good Flight Attendant will still apologize as though it was his/her own fault. Gushing head wound as the result of someone’s roller-bag? “Oh dear, I am so sorry!”
  
  
• Amenities Kit - Genius. A pack on the aircraft which contains all manner of things to combat every day cabin mishaps. It may contain items such as Gravol, aspirin, bandages, tissues, safety pins, elastic bands, hand cream, pens, notebooks, the possibilities are endless. The one guarantee is that the item will only be present in the amenities kit when you do not need it. If there is a child vomiting all over the aisle, be assured that you will not find a single Gravol tablet on the aircraft.
  
  
• ATC (Air Traffic Control). Officially these wonderful people watch your airplane on their radar and make sure that you do not fly into any of the other blinking dots with squawk numbers attached. Unofficially, they are incredibly useful for updating you on the score of that hockey game you are missing…

Next time…. B (bravo) is for…

Sitting in the Left Seat

In late March I took the first step in my journey towards becoming a Pilot. I had been driving past the Ottawa Flying Club for weeks. One day I finally went inside. It was actually quite nerve-wracking. I walked in the front door and up to the desk where there were about ten guys milling around. They all stopped and turned to look at me.

‘Um…,’ I said. Think of something cool. PLEASE say something cool. ‘I am interested in Flying Lessons?’ Not exactly cool, but to the point. Oh well.

Brief Silence.

Then a kind looking Man With a Mustache detached himself from the group, and suggested we have a seat in the lounge area. As it turned out, he was the Chief Flying Instructor. I instantly liked him. For some reason I had held this fear that people were going to hear me say “I want to be a pilot” and laugh. He didn’t laugh. He talked to me as though it was a realistic possibility. I was having trouble forming sentences more complex than “I want flying lessons”, I’m assuming because I was in shock and/or awe of what I had just done. My hands were shaking. I had made a pro-active move towards forever changing what I thought my future would be like.

The Man With the Mustache asked me pointed questions until we determined that what I specifically wanted was to get my Commercial Pilot’s license in order to pursue a new career, and that I didn’t want to go through the degree program. We chatted a little until I felt more at ease. I told him about working for The Airline, and how I’d taken to hanging out and watching planes take off and land. Once again I expected laughter, but he actually seemed encouraged by my enthusiasm.

‘Flying is something you have to be passionate about,’ he said. 'You need the enthusiasm to be ale to do it.’

We then took a walk outside to the airside of the club, where he showed me some of the aircraft the club uses. He opened the left-hand side door of a Cessna 150 and invited me to climb in. He gave me a brief overview of the plane, showed me some of the controls, and then we took a quick walk over to the club’s new hangar, before heading back inside to meet a few people, including the scheduler. At this point I realised that I needed to leave or else I was going to be very late for work. I apologised, and the Man With the Mustache gave me some leaflets and cards with information, and suggested that before I sign up for lessons, I take an introductory lesson, just to get the feel of things and see if I thought I really wanted to do it.

I left the flying club, got in my car and drove to work, where I spent four hours serving people food and absolutely buzzing with excited thoughts. I could do it. I could become a pilot! Somehow, having been to the club and talking to someone about it realistically, instead of just thinking about it as something I might do, it had become a reality.

I had expected to take more time to think about it, but to be honest I think I knew the second I sat in that little Cessna 150 that I wanted to do it. I was encouraged to see that the Cessna had significantly fewer controls and dials than a Boeing-737, which I was used to from working for The Airline. It made me feel rather less intimidated. And sitting on the left side seat was intoxicating. I remember one day in Initial Training for The Airline, one of the trainers went on a mini rant at us. She was talking about procedures for visiting the Flight Deck at the time.

‘Don’t you dare sit in the Pilot’s seats, she said. ‘Don’t even think about it. You haven’t earned it, you have no right to it whatsoever. Even if the Pilots offer, do not sit in that seat.’ Well… talk about putting the fear of God into someone, but for me at least, it stuck. And yet, there I was sitting in the left side seat of a real aircraft.

I went back the next day and booked my introductory flight. I knew already that I was going to take lessons, but I figured I may as well just do the introductory lesson so as to give myself an idea of what I was getting myself into.

It was scheduled for 5:00 after I finished working at The Restaurant on a Saturday. I had no idea how I was going to get through that day.

The Hook

In November 2009 I somehow found myself in ground school. I had been hired as a flight attendant. I’m not sure how it happened. I had no real qualifications for the job. I didn’t even know I really wanted the job until after the interview. And then I really wanted it. And when I knew I had the job I was afraid I would fail the medical due to a recent surgery. But everything seemed to work out, and the next thing I knew I was training to be a flight attendant and being introduced to this fascinating but intimidating new world.

I realised one day, while my instructor was talking about 727s and 737s that I had absolutely no idea what the difference between the two were. Was one larger? Did one have more engines? Why was one in use and the other no longer?
‘Wow,’ I said to myself. ‘I’m in way over my head here’.

It didn’t help that there were three girls in the course who had been flight attendants before, and seemed desperate to exhibit their knowledge before the rest of us newbies, and scramble for the instructor’s attention. Usually I would just keep my head down and let the others answer questions, but now I found myself embarrassed to not know things. I did what any self-respecting university graduate would have done. I went to Wikipedia.

That night I was up hours past when I should have been, considering I had firefighting training in the morning – something, I assumed, I should be well rested and prepared for. I started with a basic search. “Boeing 727”. That led to “Boeing 737” and all the way up to “Boeing 787”, which was still being tested at the time. My next question was along the lines of “So what’s the difference between a Boeing and an Airbus then?”, which led to more Wikipedia reading. I ended the night waxing nostalgic on the Concorde page, and reminiscing about the time when that beautiful, incredible symbol of national pride flew over my house in England.

And that was probably when I became hooked. All that “research” really made me realise how amazing airplanes are, and after that I simply couldn’t learn enough. I remember walking into The Airline’s hangar in training, and staring in awe at the big, beautiful aircraft that were being worked on. I made friends with the mechanics, and bugged them for information. When I started flying I would pester the pilots with questions whenever I got the chance. On the whole, they were very helpful, and didn’t seem at all bothered by the flight attendant who wanted to learn everything she could. On my breaks, I would visit them in the flight deck. In exchange for making them tea or coffee, every day I would pick one button or dial and say “What does this do?” and from there they would give me a mini lesson until it was time for me to go back to the cabin and keep working.

I found myself becoming attached to the airplane that I most frequently worked on. I affectionately called her Lettie, a name I derived from her registration. Whenever boarding from the airstairs instead of a bridge, I would make an effort to pat her affectionately on the nose and say “Hello Girl”. This probably makes me sounds like a bit of a loon, but I couldn’t help but feel a kind of love for this wonderful machine that flew me to so many destinations and kept me safe at 32,000 ft. She wasn’t a shiny new plane. She was a Boeing 737-400 series. A little ghetto, truth be told. And she had a tendency to leak in the galley. All the time. Every time I would fly there would be water coming from somewhere (usually a result of melted ice in the canisters, or else the Coffee Maker of Doom). But she did the job. 36.5m long, and with a cruising speed of 439kt. Despite her occasional galley-related temper tantrum, most of the pilots agreed that she was the best of The Airline’s fleet to fly, and she was hands down my favourite.

Despite my constant thirst for knowledge about the aircraft and the actual flying, I found myself settling right into the flight attendant lifestyle, and loved almost every minute of it. Naturally it wasn’t all happy times. There were delays, constant catering issues, de-icing for the second time in one day (Ottawa in January is a magical place…), waking up and not knowing what province –or even country- you were in, trolley-related injuries, spending days and days working on minimum crew rest without even time for a beer, and full blown “clashes of character” in the galley. But every job has its issues, and aside from ours, Team YOW generally had a blast.

One day, during a break in the flight deck, it crossed my mind that being a pilot would actually be super cool. I casually asked the First Officer how he had gotten into it. He explained about the degree program. I was interested, but a little put off. It sounded like an expensive venture, not to mention a lot more school. Still, I filed it away in my mind under “Things I might do if I ever had the money and fancied more schooling”. It didn’t seem particularly important, since I’d “Always Wanted to be an Archaeologist”.

It was just the sort of thing I would think about every now and then, along the lines of “Wouldn’t it be cool if…”

Then, one day in the middle of the Yorkdale Mall in Toronto, I got a very bad phone call. The Tour Operator for whom we had been flying had gone under. The Airline was fine, but they didn’t have any contracts for the YOW crew. We were, in short, screwed. Nine flight attendants out of work. Every so often The Airline would tease us with “possible charters”, but on the whole it was a bleak time. I got a bit depressed with the lack of flying, which wasn’t good, but it did throw some light on the fact that I had been really happy with flying. When I found myself driving around the airport and finding the perfect place to park my car and watch airplanes take off and land overhead, I knew it was time to re-examine this “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” idea I had stored away.

For weeks I had been driving past the airport every day on my way home, and I always saw the sign for the Flying Club. Every time I looked it it, it felt as though my brain crept closer and closer towards a conclusion.
Finally, one morning on my way into the city, my brain disengaged completely, and I discovered that my hands were turning the wheel. Before I knew it I was parking in the lot of the Flying Club.